Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Seeing clearly

The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. Psalm 19:8

   It’s the strangest thing:  Millions of Christians say they really want to be wise in their decisions.  They want to follow God in their personal lives, jobs, and families and to experience God’s blessings, but they often fail to do the one thing God promises will give them that wisdom:  soak up the truths of His Word.
   People who devour God’s truth (and that’s the image we get from Jeremiah 15:16) gradually develop a new set of eyes, one that sees beyond the tangible to the eternal.  But that doesn’t mean they’re clairvoyant.  They can’t see into the future or know exactly what God is doing all the time.  Rather, they gain insight about the ways and the will of God.  They aren’t shocked when roadblocks occur, because they’ve learned that God often uses detours to redirect them.  They don’t pout when God doesn’t answer their prayer, because they know God sometimes has a different agenda that is much bigger than theirs.  And they aren’t caught off guard when people disappoint them because they have more insight about the selfishness that’s in their hearts too.
   Learning to see through the lens of Scripture takes time and effort, but most of us gladly expend time and effort on a host of other activities that promise far less.  When I  reflect on how much time I spend reading the paper, watching TV, working on hobbies, shopping, and talking on the phone compared to how much time a spend with the Lord I am shamed. If I love Him, why don't I hunger to know Him more?  Why not more time spent in His word soaking up His truth?
  My prayer this day is to grow in seeking Him. He is here waiting for me.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Saying goodbye....

Let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You. Psalm 5:11

   Sometimes, the stresses and struggles and heartbreaks of life take their toll on our emotions and our outlook.  We never intend for it to happen, but suddenly our sense of joy is washed away in a sea of demands, conflicts, tears and sorrow.
    That has been my experience these last days. Losing Cookie has been hard on me. Like jumping off a cliff and landing on rocks in the darkest of night.
    At 17 years old I knew her time to die was upon her, upon me. Everyday I would wake up and check to see if she was breathing as she slept in her little doggie bed beside me. As I would see her chest moving slowly I thanked the Lord for another day with her. She had become my shadow especially as she aged and lost her hearing and vision. If I even got up from my desk to walk to the door, she would be standing at attention discerning where/what I was going to do.  We were a "duet" being played all her waking hours. In the kitchen I danced around her food bowl while I cooked and she piece at a time.  When I got up in the wee hours of the morning not being able to sleep within minutes I would hear her body slowly thumping down the stairs one step at a time until she found me in my reading chair. She would look to me for acknowledgement and a dog treat and then settle down to slumber once more. My little soul mate.
     And though I knew her time was coming and thought I was prepared, I was dead wrong. I feel as if a vital part of my soul is gone leaving an emptiness behind, a huge void filled with longing. I want to see her once more, smell her little warm body, feel her life, massage her stiff joints, call her my crazy names, take her out to potty, trim her nails, bathe her, groom her.....on and on. Just once more.....
    Saying goodbye is not in my vocabulary right now and it needs to be. Because it is a reality. She is gone and I am here.
     I am thankful that the Lord knows all of this. He knows my heart pain, my head pain, my tears, my sorrow. I need to lean on Him to comfort me as only He is able. He is ever with me, just as my memories of my Cookie are hidden in my inner being. Thanking the Lord always for my little Monster.
Cookie Monster


Monday, March 4, 2019

My Cookie Monster dies.....

Yesterday, Sunday March 3rd, around 3 pm, after lunch, Cookie started breathing really hard. We thought she had tired herself out coming up the staircase as she often does. She is 17+.  As the day wore on, her breathing became more labored and rapid. She couldn't get comfortable because she was suffocating. As the day wore into evening, we decided that her issue was serious and took her to Flagstaff's Emergency Vet. hospital. They put her in an oxygen cage immediately, did some x rays, blood work etc. She had developed pneumonia and her lungs had fluid build up. She was struggling for air. They were wonderful in treating her. Giving her antibiotics, oxygen, breathing treatments.......but it was her time to go. She lived a life of love, and fun, and love, and love.