Saturday, April 27, 2019

One more time.....

  It has been almost nine weeks since Cookie died. My heart still aches and when I think of her or look at her photos I cry. But not as much. Time does lessen the grief, just as it did with Biskit. I find myself still waiting for her bark to come into the house, making her little whining sounds to get my attention and try to figure out what she wants, looking at me for some more treats, wanting up on the footstool in the TV room, slowly thumping down the stairs one by one each morning to find me, hopping around when she had a little burst of old age energy. Habits I miss. Although she was old, she still had a lot of spunk and life in her. Although I knew her last days were approaching I was not ready to say goodbye. She was not ready to die.
   Sometimes I think that I almost want to hurt, to cry, to miss, to mourn. Maybe to remind myself of my love for her. Maybe because I feel guilty if I don't grieve? I am not sure. 
  I just want another chance to groom her, to hug her, to give her the towel rub-a-dub when she comes in wet from outside, to give her another greenie, to stick my nose in her fur and kiss her, to speak sweet nothings into her little ears... I want one more time. It would always be that way...just one more. Never enough.
   I am ready for that to happen with my parents. My dad almost 92 and my mom 88. Their life is winding down and I know, as I did with Cookie, that death is around the corner. I walk with that knowledge, yet still hoping for another visit, another card game, another puzzle to make, another conversation to be had, another photo to take. I leave tomorrow for a three week visit with them. It may be my last. 
    I know the Lord has all of our times appointed. He is in charge of life and death. Heaven and Hell.
I can't change anything.... but being a creature of earth and time, I still want to hold on to those I love.
Just one more time.....


Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Do I shout for joy?

Let them shout for joy and be glad, who favor my righteous cause; and let them say continually, “Let the Lord be magnified, who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant.” Psalm 35:27
   In our culture, many self-absorbed people, (often myself) focus their energies on doing the newest activity that promises the most pleasure, getting the latest technology to make life easier and fun,  going shopping for the latest styles in clothes and jewelry, traveling the world, and spending hours on favorite hobbies.  Those things don’t satisfy for long.  God made us with hearts that long for a transcendent purpose.  We want to live for something much bigger than ourselves.
  Causes come in every stripe and color.  Some people get energized for a political candidate who promises to change a city, state, or nation.  Others devote themselves to preserving the planet or helping the homeless.  In war, soldiers fight and die for the freedom of those back home. Many of us have the sole purpose of  pursuing self-satisfaction. We sit on the "throne" and feel we are the center of the universe.
   Although some causes are noble, most have only temporary results.  Taking the message of Christ’s love not only to the ends of the earth but also to  our family members, friends, and coworkers is truly our most important task. The purpose for every believer is to know Christ and to honor Him in everything we do.  He should sit on the throne of our life. As we turn our attention to Him, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead...eternity with God, we discover He is the true  cause that makes us shout for joy!