Hawaii 2010!

Two years ago Mike and I vacationed for two weeks in Kauai adventuring with his friend Johnny, exploring the volcanos of the Big Island, flying over breathtaking  beaches and waterfalls, freezing on top of  Mauna Kea, and worrying about Mike's dad back in the nursing home. This year we are back again but with my sister Debbie and husband Mark for week one and Johnny for week two. We have had non-stop activity since stepping out of the plane including visiting the Kauai coffee plantation with plenty of caffiene filled samples, surfing lessons, zip lining experiences, golf overlooking the ocean, ATVing, hiking our legs off, swimming in pools and  ocean, helicopter rides, shopping galore, laughing until we cry, eating until we burst and taking a ton of photos. That is just for starters. We have left worries behind for these two weeks and concentrated on enjoying our family, friend and beauty of this incredible place. The picutres  tell it all!!

Driveway Astronomy

Mike has had his head in the "stars" for a long time but now has made it official with the purchase of a telescope and ALL the "necessary" gadgets. In our quest to spend quality time together I am "studying" star charts, reading telescope manuals, using new binoculars, memorizing constellations like the Big Dipper and Leo, viewing the rings of Saturn, counting the moons of Jupiter, and in general struggling to get up to speed with this new hobby taking place in our driveway each clear evening. FUN!!!

  I was worrying about what we will do when/if we retire. The telescope may be our answer. I can picture us packing up the dogs and gear, exploring remote areas, making sure the locations are pitch DARK and sky CLEAR, sitting back in my lawn chair with binoculars while Mike "syncs" the scope to the sky, eating snacks while we check out the "heavens" and I try to identify the 10 measly stars and constellations I have managed to memorize. As the picture shows, we have quite the hi-tech driveway setup. Computer, telescope, kitchen stool, saw horses, plywood board....we are living large!

Loss of a loved one- Fred Smith

At 9 p.m. last night, Sunday February 8th, my lovable father-in-law Freddie passed away while I was visiting him in his nursing home. I arrived there

for our "Sunday" afternoon time together fully expecting to play the domino game he had promised me the day before. In that 24 hour period he had taken a turn for the worse with his breathing becoming very labored. I found him in his bed gasping for air in spite of being on oxygen. It broke my heart to see him struggle for each breath. I was blessed to spend those last seven hours of his life praying for him, talking about my special memories of him, reflecting on the role he had played in so many lives, rubbing lotion on his dry skin, combing his hair, reminding him of how much he is loved, and reading God's word of comfort to him. At some point I sensed that last night would be his final one and I was able to get hold of Mike and Deb and let them know. Mike was there to share his last few hours.

So many feelings rush over me as I remember this precious man that has been part of my life these past 26 years. Above all things he was devoted to his family and country. He had spent a good part of his life in the air force serving in three wars. He was awarded the Purple Heart medal for his courage in battle. He often talked fondly of the brave young men he helped train and protect as part of his responsibility. This sense of duty and loyalty was woven throughout his life. When his wife Norma Jo became seriously ill I saw him step up to the plate of caring for her every need until she required nursing care. At that point he moved to an apartment next to the nursing home and spent hours everyday with Jo, the love of his life. I am privileged to have had his generous spirit and unselfish love showered on Mike and me throughout our marriage. These last few years I will especially treasure since he lived within walking distance of our home. So many evenings were spent together watching movies, eating snacks, playing with Biskit and Cookie, and just "hanging out" laughing and having fun. Once in the nursing home our times together took on a more "intimate" flavor. In his more fragile state, he allowed me to care for some of his personal needs. He loved to have me put lotion on his dry skin, wash the sand from his eyes, comb is hair, clean his dentures, massage his feet, push him around in the wheel chair, help him eat his meals, and give him lots of kisses and hugs. He was always appreciative of everything I did for him, often saying, "Oh honey, how can I ever repay you for this?", to which I would respond "Payment needs to be made in hugs and kisses". He would lift up his cheek for me to kiss and put his arms around me. Those memories are priceless and will fill my memory bank forever. Having Freddie Smith in my life is one of the huge gifts the Lord has blessed my life with. I am forever changed because of him.

Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving is bittersweet this year. After getting back from an awesome trip to Hawaii, I had the responsibility of emptying and giving away the remainder of Freddie's possessions and apartment furnishings. He will never be going back. In this emotional process I learned that people who take gifts ( furniture, TV's, clothes, etc.) often don't appreciate them and even treat them as trash. Just because something is free doesn't negate its value. My feelings were hurt deeply as the special things I gave were scorned and abused. I felt angry. Then I remembered God's gift of His only Son Jesus. Given freely out of His love with the GREAT promise of enjoying eternal life with Him if accepted. What happened? Were the people overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness? Did they realize the priceless treasure being offered. NO. Instead Christ was scorned, ridiculed, abused and then killed as if He were worthless trash and not the Divine gift from God.
I believe I needed this object lesson to open by own selfish eyes and examine things that I truly need to be thankful for. The bruises my heart feels from my gifts being mistreated are nothing compared to God's sorrow and righteous anger over His Son being crucified. Today I want to pause and give thanks to the Lord for my salvation through faith in Christ. In addition, I want to acknowledge the blessings He has poured out into my life. The treasures of my family, friends, job, health, home, freedom to live in this great country and worship the Lord without fear.
This emotionally charged experience this month has given me insight and taught me the value of a "gift" and being thankful- two principles I hope continue to transform my heart.

Paradise

Sitting here in the quiet breathtaking beauty of Kauai, I thank the Lord for this day to myself. Mike and Johnny have gone to explore Pearl Harbor and I chose to remain in our condo, relax, spend time reflecting on God's goodness, and share a few thoughts and pictures.

Since it is difficult to coordinate the schedules of multiple people and time-share availability, this trip has been in the making for over a year. We had originally intended to come in June but November was what we were able to arrange. Hard to complain when it is paradise here year-round. With all the hard things Mike and I have been dealing with we weren't sure if we would enjoy ourselves so we arrived with mixed emotions. Glad to report that those changed immediately after stepping off the plane into the "heaven" of Hawaii.

Johnny, Mike's best friend, ski buddy, and great guy, joined us on this trip. He has never been to Hawaii before so we are able to act as tour guides sharing our "favorite things to do" with him.

The three of us arrived on Friday evening after dark so we awoke Saturday morning to the fresh beauty of northern Kauai. Because Mike and Johnny are non-stop activity lovers we have been doing something just about every moment. The days have opened with hikes to see the sunrise over the ocean and share our breakfasts with the abundant birds (including chickens---lots of them) on our deck. A chicken actually stole Mike's toast from his plate!

We have gone exploring the major areas of the island with the Waimea canyon being the most spectacular. It is called the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. A mini-version of the real thing. The weather was too beautiful on Monday to pass up the chance to do some hiking up there so we spent the day snapping pictures as we trudged along the rocky trails. Tuesday we hadn't had enough of the canyon views so we took a helicopter ride that gave us not only the view from above the canyon but the whole island. Breathtaking and scary !!

Last night we stuffed ourselves at a Hawaiian luau as we enjoyed the show featuring native dancing and music. Today I decided to chill out by myself as the boys explore Pearl Harbor and Waikiki beach on the island of Oahu. It is a picture perfect day outside (as usual) and I am basking in this time alone to read, stroll, nap, listen to my new Hawaiian CD's, and of course post these pictures !

Changing Gears

The past few months of my life remind me of road trips Mike and I have taken. Sometimes we are cruising along in fifth gear on the straight and level highways, no obstructions, no potholes, able to mindlessly drive and enjoy the scenery. Other times we downshift to go through scenic areas full of curves, switchbacks, points of interest or areas of caution. Once in a while we have to shift into low gear to chug our way up through steep mountain passes with sharp frightening drop offs on either side. On occasion we may have to suddenly stop for a “Kodak” moment pull out, a darting animal on the road ahead, some sort of danger, or just a needed break at a rest area.

In June we were cruising in fifth gear. Mike and I went to Ohio to visit my family and help my parents get ready for their move to their new home. We celebrated Father’s Day together, went out to eat, played lots of cards, relaxed, watched TV, and laughed a lot. Life was good.
In July we downshifted a bit as Billie went into the hospital at the Cleveland Clinic to have heart surgery. What was to have been a 5-7 day stay ended up becoming a month long nightmare of medical problems. Finally, at the end of the month he was able to come home to Dayton to finish recovering. We were cautiously cruising again.

August was filled with planned fun activities. I got to attend the Women of Faith conference in Dallas with 3 special friends- Martha, Joanne and Georgia. For two days we and thousands of other women basked in God’s word, singing hymns of praise, listening to messages of encouragement and teaching from the entertaining and Godly speakers including Patsy Clairmont, Lucy Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, and Marilyn Meberg. Afterward, we stayed up late in our hotel room eating snacks, laughing and having girl talk together. An abundance of heartfelt fellowship.

In the last week of August we again shifted to a lower gear. Billie, who had been recovering quite well, had to be readmitted to the hospital due to an infection around his surgical incision. Doctors, however, felt he would be home in a couple of days. Mike and I decided to take a short trip we had planned to Angel Fire, NM. where we stayed in the beautiful mountain vacation home of our gracious neighbor Carol. Our four days were packed with adventure. We were cruising once more. I was still on my spiritual high from the conference with my friends, and Mike was itching for some activity after our 14 hour drive. We hiked and drove the area with Biskit and Cookie each day, explored the awesome beauty of the northeastern New Mexico Mountains and towns, spent an afternoon in Taos, and even spotted a black bear checking out the deck of a house in a nearby neighborhood. Fortunately we were in our car and the residents didn’t appear to be present. The quiet mountain surroundings, crisp pine scented air, comfortable home and time together was rest for our souls.

During the drive home from the trip I spoke with Debbie concerning Billie. Great news, since his healing was going so well, she and Mark were leaving him in the Cleveland hospital for a few more days while they headed back to their jobs in Dayton.

Still in high gear, the following week I got on a plane to Las Vegas to visit my best friend Terri, her mom Doris, and attend a Beth Moore/Kay Arthur bible conference. This trip had been planned for almost a year with tender loving care and great anticipation by the two of us. We rarely get to see each other and the fact we were combining my visit with a conference “starring” our two favorite Bible teachers put us both in spiritual overdrive! After I arrived, we hit the grocery store for our favorite snacks and proceeded to her gorgeous home where we sat and chattered non-stop until evening when we went to a bible study at her friend Jill’s home. What precious hours those were.

Early the next morning Mike called me from Texas saying Billie had taken a sudden serious turn for the worse and Debbie and Mark were speeding up to Cleveland. I got a hold of my sister while they were driving and through tears she shared the news of his critical condition. Life slowed down abruptly and then came to a grinding halt when later that morning Mark called me from Cleveland with the news of Billie’s death. The flood gates of my heart burst open with emotion and I felt like a car spinning out of control on ice, heading for a cliff.

The next 48 hours were like driving thru a dense fog. Somehow I managed to make it back to Texas, pick up Mike and fly home to my family in Dayton, Ohio. I can’t describe that week except to say it was the hardest most heartbreaking time in my life and 100 times more so for my sister and Mark. I have never prayed so much and shed so many tears. Coming back to Texas I felt like a car stuck permanently in a rut, spinning my wheels and getting no where. I am so thankful for my friends that lifted me and my family up to the Lord during that time. His comforting hand was always upon me.

Stuck in low gear, September dragged on. I seemed to be rooted in the land of sorrow, the valley of death. During the last week of September Mike’s sister Deb came for a visit. It is always a joy to see her. Her light hearted humor got me feeling alive and moving forward again. We spent time going to the Fort Worth Japanese gardens, eating Mexican food and watching movies with Freddie, their dad.

In October Mike and I went back up to Ohio for a visit. Life was moving forward slowly but surely. Though the week was filled with emotional moments we spent lots of quality time with my family even celebrating Chip’s and my birthday at a party my sister Sherri had for us.

While we were there however, another crisis struck. Freddie, Mike's dad, had a TIA (mini-stroke) that caused him to end up in the VA hospital in Dallas after becoming lost for 15 hours driving around Texas. Our lives slammed into low gear again not knowing how to best proceed with Anxiety fighting to be in the driver’s seat. Deb, Mike’s sister, saved the day by coming from Austin, Tx and dealing with the situation until we got home from our visit in Ohio. We have been crawling forward with caution the last several weeks. Our emotions our raw from grief, anxiety, sadness, and exhaustion. We found a nursing home about 30 minutes away for Freddie and moved him within a couple of days. His mini-strokes have left him too confused to live on his own. His “new reality” has caused him to totally shift gears as he adjusts to his new “home”, new routine, and essentially new life. Mike and I are working on a schedule for visits that we can commit to with consistency.

As we seem to have bottomed out, we are shifting again and driving out of this valley of sadness and uncertainty headed for some level ground. Cruising at this moment seems to be a thing of the past, a mere memory, but I am asking the Lord to help me focus on Him and realize He is the one controlling the transmission and my direction -even when my gears are jammed and I seem to be rolling backwards.

The Intruders, "Mr. and Mrs. Rocky"

These past few months we noticed that Kitten, our beautiful long-haired cat, has significantly increased her food intake without any apparent weight gain. This is something I have been hoping would happen in my life for years! How I would love to eat the pound bag of peanut M&M's without having to purchase jeans a size larger. In addition to the new appetite we noticed she was "frolicking" in the back yard during the evening, often tipping over her food dish, water bowl and deck plants. This behavior is very unusual for a cat that likes to lay around like a couch potato most of her life. Well.. a few evenings ago, as Mike and I were snoozing in our TV room, we were abruptly awakened by noises on our deck. Flying to the window to see what was causing the commotion, we spotted two raccoons sauntering around the deck checking out Kitten's food bowl. Mike grabbed a flashlight and went outside to get a closer view of Rocky and his wife. Instead of running in fear, they give him a look like , "Hey buster, get some chow in this bowl pronto, we're hungry". Well, we love animals but Biskit, Cookie, and Kitten are more than enough for our home and budget. After getting advice from various people and web-sites, Mike headed to Home Depot to purchase a "Have-a-hart" trap. This apparatus is baited with food and after the animal enters it to feast a door closes trapping him without harm. We were disappointed after the first unsuccessful night. We woke to an empty cage still full of food. The second night, however, we hit the jack-pot and captured both Rocky and his Mrs. We relocated them a few miles away in a woodsy area near the lake. They will have to begin a new "natural" diet...bugs, fish, and vegetation since Purina will no longer be available served in a cute bowl!

Billy- Precious moments and memories

The Lord gives, and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
God breathed life into my nephew Billy 20+ years ago and He took it away yesterday morning, Wednesday Sept 3rd.

As I am overcome with grief and my heart feels pierced, I am ever grateful for Billie's life and the opportunities I got to spend with him.

In the scheme of eternity, life is brief. Whether we live one month, 20 years, or 90 years, we are momentary.
BUT, in the moments we have, in the moments Billy had, he made a precious, significant contribution in the lives he touched.
In my life.
My memories, my moments with Billy began when he was just a long, squirming crying baby. Never content with anyone but his mom, my sister Debbie.

From the beginning they had a special bond.
It wasn’t until he was out of the baby phase that I was able to begin knowing him and discover his unique personality and tender heart.
-His artistic abilities became apparent when he was still a “little guy”. He drew all sorts of pictures and gave them as gifts. He spent hours constructing Leggo masterpieces.
-At the age of 4 or 5 he could beat me 90% of the time at the memory card game “Concentration”, squealing with delight at his victory over us “old” folks.
-Skateboarding became a passion as he got a bit older. He loved to show off with stunts of flying off the porch steps, spinning in the air, and racing at top speed down the drive way. He made it look so easy! Ha.
-I remember being impressed with his karate moves and his “chop-socki” (num-chuk?) sticks that he could twirl around like batons without hitting himself or me as he performed.
-His big sister Melissa was relentless in keeping him on his fighting “toes” as the two of them had sibling battles.

Billy….Oh Billy. What a joy filled boy and then young man- William.

Mike and I spent a special time with him when he came to visit us in Texas several years ago. We dragged him around to all sorts of Fort Worth sight-seeing stuff. He was such a good sport making everything we did so much more entertaining and meaningful. We spent a whole day at an RV show going from RV to RV with Billy paving the way, giving us his assessments and opinions of each one. His main focus was whether our dogs Biskit and Cookie would find them comfortable. He had a way with animals.
-More recently he became quite a technology geek. Lots of expertise at online video games, computer and I-Pod stuff. In June, just a couple of months ago, he gave me a beginner “text messaging” lesson on my cell phone. I am pretty remedial, but he was patient in teaching ol’ Aunt Kathie several times. I never did figure it out.

Though Billy faced lots of things in his life I would consider “hard”, like seeing his dad become ill, going through multiple surgeries, experiencing countless illnesses, he was characterized by his positive/fun filled attitude, his warm, caring, loving and gentle heart, his brilliant smile and non-stop sense of humor and wit, his love of kidding around.

We all wish we could hear his voice once more, see his handsome animated face, hear his laughter, feel his embrace. We can’t.
His moments on earth weren’t numerous enough for us, those he left behind, BUT they were moments that he packed with life and love.
I can no longer see Billy physically, but my memories of him are just a blink of the eye away, hidden in my heart where I can visit him all the days of my life for all the rest of my moments.

Thank you Billy for enriching my life.

Thank you Lord for Billy's life.

Girls' Day Out

This week I had the pleasure of spending a day with April and Cindy on a shopping adventure to Sam Moons in North Dallas. In my day to day life, venturing further than a 5 mile radius from my home is a rarity (except for work-21 miles). Obviously I have a rather “limited” life. I hate the 6 lane, “mix master”, high speed, adrenaline pumping, white knuckled, competitive driving that is required getting to Dallas to shop. So, I don’t go unless, of course, someone else offers to do the driving. Cindy generously made that offer this week and her daughter-in-law April and I jumped at the opportunity. Cindy is a most calm and confident driver, so we were able to sit back, relax and have girl talk for the hour drive. Sam Moons is one of those places everybody MUST visit who has a LIMITED budget and likes to accessorize with jewelry, purses, belts, and other cool stuff. Just like Sam Walton of Walmart, Sam Moon (is there really such a man?) had the right merchandise mix, the perfect location (unless you live in Arlington) and most of all the right PRICES when he built this little Chinatown empire. We arrived right after it opened and the parking lot was already teaming with cars and women swarming to begin their shopping spree. The three of us had our baskets loaded to overflowing after just our first pass thru the store. Then came the tough part requiring us to get "real" (even inexpensive things bought by the dozens equals lots of bucks) and scale our greed down to a manageable (affordable) amount. By the time we checked out we were exhausted from the shopping frenzy and needing some calories to regain our stamina. Burger King fit the bill. Here we indulged not only in "nutritional" burgers and fries but also in a time of “show and tell”. Unloading our bags of "booty" to check out , we “oooh and ahhhed” over our new purchased treasures with great pride and excitement. We beat the rush hour traffic home to rescue Donnie and Ryan from their “Boys Day of Babysitting” and snap a picture of the happy shoppers!

Old Friends-Sandra (part one)

I have been blessed by four friends from my past peeking into my life the last couple of months. Since I have not had multitudes of friends, those I have are significant. Though circumstances have removed them from my realm for one reason or another I treasure the memories we have shared and am delighted that I have been reconnected, however briefly, with Sandra, Andrea, Renardis and Susan. I want to share some of their specialness. I will begin with...
Sandra- This godly woman came into my life about 7 years ago at my first church. I had not known the Lord long and felt out of my element- going to church by myself, trying to find an area to serve, getting to know about fellowship with other Christian women, and learning about drawing close to the Lord through Bible study. Sandra came “beside me” (whether she realized it or not) and because of her maturity in the Lord encouraged me, and helped me plug into Bible study. Along with my "soul sister" Terri, see my previous blog, the three of us became friends. As you might imagine the icing on the cake was the fact that we are dog lovers! (she is holding my dog Cookie in the picture). Our trio made some fun filled trips together. I remember going to Chattanooga, Tn. several times to attend a national women’s conference featuring our favorites teachers, Kay Arthur and Beth Moore, driving to Houston to a Precepts training seminar the day after the 911 terrorist attack in New York, spending a weekend at a retreat in a beautiful area in east Texas in cramped bunk beds and an overheated cabin, and going to the Billy Graham training sessions at a nearby church. In all of these events we spent lots of time not only studying God’s word, but growing our friendship and making memories. We each have a weakness for purchasing books, study guides, and study "paraphenalia". This was hugely manifested when we left the Chattanooga conference on a spiritual high and with Terri’s suburban loaded to the max with almost every book sold at the conference! I still chuckle about this, since after 7 years I haven’t made a dent in all the material I just “had to have” that day!
Well circumstances in life took me to a different church and over time I lost touch with Sandra.
Surprise! About 8 weeks ago I was revisiting my first church with a new friend, Joanne, when who do I spot sitting about seven rows in front of me? Sandra. Gosh, sweet memories of our times together flooded over me and I rejoiced to hug her and say hello. Later we had a chance to chat and as God would have it she invited me to the Precepts Bible study she is leading. This was an answer to a prayer I had been lifting to the Lord. I had recently “graduated” from the 7 year BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) course and was asking God to guide me to a new in depth study. To make a long story short, He gave me the answer in bringing me to my old friend Sandra and a brand new class of lovers of the Lord. Praise Him!